Posted by Anonymous on 2015/03/01 under Uncategorized I often think about killing myself. I would never actually do it. Well,because I would be too scared. But I imagine what it would feel like to have my life slowly slipping away, dripping from my wrists. The relief. The freedom. Slowly becoming sleepy and actually being able to close my eyes. I would probably cry. But a good cry. It relaxes me knowing that if I really needed an out. That I have that option. It makes me cry thinking about him. My mom willing left me and my siblings when I was five. So I know what it’s like to know she left us and not even remember her.
Then I think about what people would think. No one would expect it. I’m a very happy go lucky person. No complaints.
My mom would honestly be mad. Just because that’s how she reacts to everything. My dad would cry. My husband would be devastated and probably become depressed. My son. My son is not even two yet, so he wouldn’t really notice. But it would be kinds weird to grow up knowing that his mom killed herself.
I wonder about people at work. Would they think about me a year from now or would I just be forgotten.
I would want to prepare. Write notes to family. And for my son as he grew up.
Telling him that I love him very much.
I wish I knew that everything is going to work out. That bad times will only last for so long. But it seems like every time I get past a bad event, a new problem emerges.
I don’t self harm. But I think about it.
2 thoughts on “less life”
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Why do you want to take this extreme step..? You have a lot to live for. I cannot even imagine how big your problems are and will not try to judge them, but try this..every time you feel suicidal, come to this site and write a comment for someone else. Save someone. Trust me, it will help.
hey i know how you feel but suicide is not an option. no matter how dark the hole is that you are in, you son is your light that should help you get out. if you commited suicide you son later on would wonder if he was the reason. you say they dont notice but they do